Haters gonna hate

I have had this deep seeded belief, since being a teenager, that the phrase ‘haters gonna hate’ is so full of truth that if you think about it for five minutes too long, it becomes quite terrifying. Basically, it warns us that there are people who will hate on anything or anyone, just because they can. There won’t be a particular reason; they are just going to do it because they have the ability to.

Now I’m not someone who can claim to hate very often, hell, I’ve got better things to do for the most part than waste hours hating something. I’ll dislike something, even someone, and have my reasons why that’s the case, but hate? I don’t honestly remember the last time I genuinely hated someone or even something.  (Okay, that may be a lie, I can remember the last thing I hated and that was the first Saw movie a friend made me watch. But even then I’m not sure hate is the appropriate word and I shouldn’t more say that I was deeply disturbed by it.)

I have, especially recently, hated a situation. The hate I felt then is what is referred to as rational hate, born from the injustice of an event or situation, and mostly based on my own feelings of powerless and guilt regarding the fact that I can’t make things better[1]. Hate, really, is only there to disguise the gut-wrenching feeling that you can’t do anything

and are sitting there, a powerless mess struggling with upset, frustration, worry, and god knows what else depending on the situation.

That kind of hate, I think, will make sense to most human beings on the planet.

Then there is the other kind of hate, the hate that is born simply because of somebody’s else appearance, religion, race, skin colour, sexual preference, or even opinion (you know, all those things that make the world a wonderfully diverse and interesting place!). This kind of hate, referred to as a hate mask, is born and worn as a way to disguise personal insecurities. Basically, the more insecure someone is the bigger the hate mask, and the more hate they have to distribute around[2].

But let’s not generalise, shall we? After all, ‘not all insecure people are haters, but all haters are insecure people.’[3]

Now hate isn’t a pretty thing, especially when it’s directed at people, or things, that have done little more to deserve it than exist as they are. It’s how bullies start hating and picking on another kid at school, ‘just because they’re different’, or ‘because they’re the nerd’, or because of some other ridiculous reason. In my childhood I was one of those bullied kids. I

stood there and took verbal abuse, had my backpack stolen and my glasses broken, just because ‘I didn’t fit in’ (whatever the hell fitting in at 12 is), because I was good at school, liked to listen in class, and stupidly, because I didn’t wear what was fashionable to wear!

It all sounds pretty stupid and petty, doesn’t it? And yet these people hated me enough to spend all their free time at school making my life miserable, because apparently doing that made them feel better about themselves. I don’t get it, personally, but it seems that hating gives people a sense of purpose when they band and do it together to do it.[4]

So bullies make me mad: as a child I could do little to nothing about what happened to me, but as an adult, when I see bullies, they really, really make me mad (it’s probably the only thing I have in common with Captain America, actually). And haters are just that: big bullies, who probably don’t even realise they’re bullies.

A few months ago, a blog was brought to my attention through certain events I shan’t recount here: Requires Only That You Hate. I won’t do them the favour of giving them traffic by linking to them, and I will spare any kind soul reading this from falling face to face with it.

So yes, there is a blog out there called Requires Only That You Hate. My first reaction to the title of the place was one not suited for a blog post. I just couldn’t believe it. Actually, I was stunned into silent bewilderment (after the initial less-than-polite outburst) that there would be someone, or a group of people, who would create a blog just to hate on things. I mean, in all brutal honesty, what is the point?

I know we all have our opinions, and sometimes we all need somewhere to vent when we didn’t like something. But having enough hate in you to constitute an entire blog? That was beyond my capacity for comprehension. And they literally hate on everything. From the mysoginistic main character of a book (who really, is more of a psychopath than a straight out mysoginist), to elves, also including any book with apparent shocking sexual content, or simply something that rubbed them the wrong way.

They also love to attack people they know nothing about on Twitter because…because they can? I don’t know. I watched them doing to an author the other day and felt very sorry the man in question as he struggled to stay surprisingly polite in front of the waves of insults that were thrown at him. I also recently watched them judge someone they, may I add, know absolutely nothing about, again, just because they can.

I, personally, don’t see what there is to gain in attacking someone or something that has never done anything to you personally. Hell, maybe if everybody shared that mentally we’d all be better off. But people don’t, and people like those who post on, or stand by, something like Requires Only That You Hate, are the kind of people that make the world that little bit less of a nice place. They insight hatred into others so that they’re not so alone in their little corner. Psychologically, that allows them to escape introspection and facing off to whatever demons are haunting them inside, it gives them a place to belong, and it even makes them feel like they’re the better people in all of this.[5]

The problem is, it’s all fabricated emotions, and if carried on too long, they’ll never be able to let go of the hate, because it would mean putting the mask down and actually facing the fact that they have nothing better to do with their lives than hate, hate, and hate some more. The longer the hate carries on for, the less likely the mask is to ever come down and these people are less and

less likely to realise what they have done and are doing, and the potential harm that they have done to others through their behaviours.

So basically, those kinds of haters are high-and-mighty bullies, with a complex of holier-than-thou, and a big handful of insecurities thrown in. Most of the time I try to think they’re not worth my time and that I have better things to do than pay them any heed. But every now and again, when they cause upset, stir up drama, or simply take a pot shot at someone they know nothing about, and I happen to see it, a flip in my head switches, and I’m 12 again, facing off the bullies at school. But then another switch flips and I get mad, and I want to rant, and tell them to get a life and for god’s sake, we have better things to do with the years we are given than sit there and spend our time hating people and things, and blogging about it on the internet.

Hell, even psychologists must think that hate is something we’re better without as it’s one of our emotions that has been studied the least, as has been openly admitted by several psychologists that have walked down that path.

Hate isn’t a pretty thing, it doesn’t make things better, it doesn’t really make people feel better, and all it breeds is anger and upset.

For a time I even thought I hated haters like the people of Requires Only That You Hate. But then I realised it wasn’t hate, it was pity, because they’re wasting their lives away on negative emotions instead of seeking to make their existence better.

So yes, haters are gonna hate, they’re going to wear their hate masks and hide all their insecurities behind, act as though they’re right and they’re the best, but at the end of the day, those they hurt will shed off the negative and move on to better things, whereas they will carry on to waste away in it and perhaps, sadly, never realise how much harm they are doing to themselves.

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